This morning was worse and I knew in my gut what had to be done. I know its selfish but I was hoping and praying she would pass away at home. I know thats the cowards way out but I did not want to have to make this dreadful decesion again in my life.
But this day started off with her so very weak and not being able to breath easily and not even able to stand up to urinate. So I waited until 9:00 am squeezing every possible moment with her before calling the vet to bring my precious bundle in to be put to sleep.
So off my husband and I went on that most awful of all car trips. I would not put her in a carrying case I wanted to hold on as long as I could.
I don't know if this had happened to any one else but it seems like they know this is it and all of a sudden they seem to perk up and make you feel like your wrong and they are not ill or dying.
She sat on my lap looking out the window like life was fine and she was just taking a ride. Then at the vets office we waited a while and she again seemed ok. Naturally I turned to my husband and said look shes going to be fine. He just gave me that smile and held my hand.
When the vet called us in I said maybe I am being to hasty and shes not that sick. He checked her out, and my hope for a better outcome to this terrible day was not going to happen.
So within the next 30 minutes my husband and I left and took that sad and so very lonely drive back home.
The only thing I have learned over the years is that the older I get the harder the loss of our wonderful companions is. I am not saying when I was younger it was easy because that is never the case. Maybe because when I was younger i was very busy with work and family.
I always had animals in my home. Now we are retired and our Sadie was all we had. Her brother passed 2 years ago for diabetes.
This has just destroyed the both of us. I know the only solution is get in that car drive to the SPCA and this time get two older cats, they usually are the last to get adopted. They can enjoy retirement with us.
Stay Tuned
